Why do people get divorced? What the Australian research says

Why do people get divorced? The truth is, relationship breakdowns are deeply personal. Still, we can take a look at the data.

Everyone knows someone who has been through a breakup, whether it was a de facto relationship or a marriage that ended in divorce. Maybe a friend confided in you, or you heard whispers through the grapevine. Sometimes, these stories even make headlines.

But the truth is, relationship breakdowns are deeply personal. Every couple’s journey is different, and pinpointing a single cause that applies to everyone is nearly impossible. That said, research can offer valuable insights into why relationships dissolve.

One key study on this topic is the Australian Institute of Family Studies’ report, Towards Understanding the Reasons for Divorce. This study, based on a national survey of 650 divorced Australians, sheds light on the most common reasons couples go their separate ways.

Now, you might be thinking, But that study was done in 1997—surely things have changed? While society has evolved, as family lawyers, we see time and again that the core reasons behind divorce remain just as relevant today.

So, what does the research about why people get divorced say? And what can we learn from it? Let’s explore the data.

Attributes of a healthy relationship 

Before diving into the reasons relationships break down, let’s start on a more uplifting note. What makes a marriage strong and lasting?

Studies on long-lasting marriages have identified some key ingredients that help couples stay happy and connected over the years. Here are some of the top traits found in healthy relationships:

• Respect & appreciation – Feeling valued by your partner goes a long way.
• Trust & fidelity – A strong relationship is built on mutual trust and commitment.
• Good sexual connection – Physical intimacy plays a role in keeping the bond alive.
• Communication – Open, honest conversations help couples navigate challenges.
• Shared values – Aligning on core beliefs and life goals strengthens a relationship.
• Mutual support – Being there for each other through life’s ups and downs is key.
• Enjoying time together – Making time for fun and shared experiences matters.
• A sense of spirituality – For some, shared faith or personal growth brings deeper connection.
• Flexibility & adaptability – Being able to adjust to life’s changes keeps the relationship resilient.

While every couple is different, these qualities often lay the foundation for a happy, enduring marriage. So, how does this compare to the factors that lead to divorce? Let’s take a closer look.

Why do people get divorced? Here’s the data.

There are generally three categories of reasons for divorce.

These are:

1. Affective reasons

Communication problems

Communication problems can be either a shorthand or a global attempt to verbalise an array of situations connected with emotional erosion in the relationship. These might include a feeling of not being understood, feeling that needs are not being met, the loss of affection and companionship, or feeling lonely and unappreciated. These reasons are also likely to be symptoms of problems with deeper psychological or social roots. 

Incompatibility or drifting apart

We often hear our clients say things like, ‘There was a lack of love.’ Or, ‘We just grew apart emotionally.’ They also often say, ‘We had completely different ideas on our way of life and the way we lived.’ And, ‘We changed and grew apart.’ All of these comments are really just different ways of expressing a basic incompatibility or the gradual growing apart that can happen with some couples over time. 

Infidelity

Researchers in the Understanding Divorce Report found that infidelity was perceived as the main provocation for divorce by 20% of both men and women.

Alcohol and drug abuse

In the Australian Divorce Transition Project, 11% of women and 3% of men reported alcohol or drug abuse as the main reason for divorce.

2. Abusive behaviours

Abusive behaviors encompass physical, verbal, and emotional violence to oneself, their partner, or their children. Of the 6% of respondents who reported that physical violence was the main reason for marriage breakdown, all but one of the 35 were women. In six of these cases, physical danger to a child was the reason. Verbal and emotional abuse was cited as a main reason by only 2% of respondents, also primarily women.

3. External pressures

Factors outside the interpersonal relationship may impinge on the relationship. This may generate stress that could lead to marriage breakdown. 

Mental and physical health

Approximately 5% of both men and women reported physical or mental health as the main reason their marriage ended.

Financial problems

Only 5% of respondents claimed financial problems were the main cause of their marriage ending. 

Work

There has been a lot of recent attention on the increased pressures and hours of work in a competitive economic climate and the effect on families attempting to balance work and family life. However, work issues and work and family time were cited by only 3% of respondents as the primary reason for divorce.

In-laws

Interference from in-laws as a main reason for divorce was mentioned by few respondents. 

For more insights into data, explore the Australian Relationships Report here. 

At the end of the day, every relationship is unique

What makes one marriage thrive might not work for another. But understanding the key ingredients of a strong relationship (as well as the common reasons they break down) can help couples navigate challenges with more clarity and confidence.

Whether you’re in a happy marriage, facing difficulties or simply reflecting on relationships around you, knowledge is powerful. If you’re considering your legal options, whether it’s protecting your assets, understanding your rights, or preparing for a major life change, getting the right advice early on can make all the difference.

As experienced Australian family lawyers, we’re here to provide guidance, clarity, and support. If you have questions about separation, divorce, or financial agreements, don’t hesitate to reach out. 

We make legal advice simple and stress-free. Request a call back from our friendly team via the form below or call us directly.